Saturday, January 27, 2007
for those who dont know yet, weiqi passed away today. and as her psls, i think we, chowyue, elaine, choo yen lin and i, were hit pretty badly.
when tammy told us, i was just dumbfounded. yes i knew that she had to go for an operation, but i had thought that it was only a small one. at least until jacky told us about it during sec-c meeting today. but still. the possibility of her passing away. it was just not there. i mean. i totally thought that she would be ok and fine and well meet her next week for psl sessions. i never for one moment thought that i would never see her gain.
we were on our way to the psb to get our orientation shirts when tammy told us. it was like. suddenly all the noise just stopped. i was so shocked. i didnt know what to do. and neither did any one else. tammy was so lost. and so were jacky and ruoxi and becca. and zhiying. we just looked at each other, at our shocked faces and stopped. when tammy told us that a jpsl was crying in the foyer, we all went to the foyer, because we didnt know what else to do. but when i got to the foyer, i saw violet and the rest of her om team sitting on the floor discussing. and so i told her. and at that moment the truth set in.
the kind of feeling i am feeeling now, its... its realy indescribable. its grief, mixed in with much much more. i regret not getting to know her better. i regret that she had to go so soon. she was only in her teens. shes barely started the year, shes not been initiated, not gotten her jspl badge. not gotten to know her classmates or 104. and she wasnt given the time to. and i empathise with her family. with her. shes been anaemic since birth and that means that she has to constantly go for injections to get more iron into her blood. and it explains so much. i thought that when she needed to go to g.o so often was because she felt faint just you know, like how fik gets faint once in a while. i didnt know it was that serious. i didnt think it was that serious. now, knowing the truth, abovea ll the other feelings, i respect her much much more . i applaude her. despite all that, till the very last time weve met, shes has been so enthusiastic. really. she practically begged me to mark the attendance once. that time i was just okayyyy. but now, it really showed her passion. her courage. in fact our last contact was just... last monday. when we sent her the proposal for the 5th psl session. and this was how it went:
I'm really sorry...i won't be coming to school for quite a while....i'm gonna have an op so need to be hospitalised... but i will be coming on Tues and Wed. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -weiqi-
in her exact words. then, i was just like oh ok! get well soon! i mean, if you read it again, the way she put it was.... it didnt seem very serious. it was filled with optimism. and thats the kind of girl she was. happy. happy weiqi. she was so cheerful. and and...
i dunno. i really dunno.
but i do know one thing. the kind of girl she is. she'll feel happy anywhere. and no matter where she is now, she will be really happy. and for that, i feel comforted.
for those others who have known her, and im sure there are plenty, her wake is at 3pm tmr at singapore caskets. if you cant make it, show your love by changing your personal message to include (#). because shes as bright as the sun
Escaped
{4:41 pm}
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