not emotionally. wait that doesnt make sense. not in the emo way i mean, despite last post. this has been the worse this term, but ive been to worst since the start of this yeah.
so yeah im fine.
BESIDES THE FACT THAT IM TURNING INTO CARDBOARD.
like seriously. ive been taking a lot of mrt lately and you know mrts and their "full length mirrors". i look like crap. and today when i randomly looked into the mirror i scared myself with my own reflection! (but ok that might have to do with the lack of sleep from last night, but you get what i mean)
when i say cardboard i mean those you know, pale, tall, skinny girls that... look like cardboard? you know? YEAH. never thought ill be one of those BUT I LOOK MORE LIKE THEM NOW MORE THAN EVER. im scared ): i dont want to look like cardboard ):
thus, im trying my very best to eat more, even though i have strangely not much appetite for the past few days. but ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN CARDBOARD.
skinny people scare the crap out of me. i want to look like i at least have some meat on my bones. so er, begins the jo-fattens-up programme.
Escaped
{8:48 pm}
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009
okay i dont know who i can trust anymore. T.T
Escaped
{11:18 pm}
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1. i removed miley cyrus and here is rob thomas! ive been wanting to put this up foreverrrr but havent found the url yet. so this will suffice for the time being BECAUSE THIS SONG DAMN AWESOME. IF YOU DONT LISTEN TO IT I SHOOT YOU.
2. life has been a bit o.o this week. like super.... le chateliers! dont you think so. like you are happy and stable and life just decides to throw you a fruit you've never juiced before just to test how good your juicing machine is? then you have no choice but to salvage salvage salvage and minimise disturbance so that you can return to your state of equilibrium? even if nothing is the same ever again.
3. eyahhhhh. chemistry is no longer my friend. in fact its very much not my friend now i dont understand its relationship with me anymore and I DESPAIR. okay doesnt really sound like im super sad but yeah im... a bit over the sad bit alr. but earlier today when i was talking to dr chan about it nearly cried so i emoed a bit over it to my sisters and... they made things better.
4. few more days left this week. im so sad why do i count down to the end of the week! ): but despite everything i really quite love term 3 and i really quite love my class for being so fabulous. so if YOU are a 3Gian, heres a BIG ILY :D:D:D
Escaped
{6:55 pm}
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Sunday, July 26, 2009
edit2: God provides indeed. ive been meaning to get myself a new stack of postits since ive lost mine, as well as a handy little bag to put my GC in, and ytd i got both as doorgifts. :D edit: im so out of songs, so heres a little Cold As You by Taylor Swift to keep you company whilst i look.
im exhausted.
soso tired all i want to do is to go back to bed and roll in it all day long.
but i shant and i cant cos ive got workworkwork to do :/
bahhh.
ytd was a good day though. i woke up early for art, and spent the morning editing and reediting my lotuses. i now have two beautifully gorgeous leaves! the Major Accomplishment of the day :D im so proud of them :D:D
my teacher says the piece will be done by the next lessons. so it shall be.
after that i went to school only to have my meeting cancelled due to poor response, then again my batchproj group has been diminishing in size for a while now. :/ so i went to j8 for a poor macs lunch (a timely reminder as to how much i hate fast food, required once in a while) before heading to harbourfront to meet up with the group from MINDs.
MINDs people are generally... harder to accept then any other beneficery i guess. because you never really know what to expect from them? but during the trip i think i learnt more about them - theyre really a lot like children. not purely in their intellectuallity but also in their... pureness and innocence? they get excited and happy so easily, and they have to be told repeated to drink water... its almost like a primary school outing. it was rather the eyeopener.
after the trip to and about henderson waves i headed to changi airport to meet up with annie and chong and a few of their classmates who were also going together with us to hillsongs. had dinner at swensens and ended up at expo slightly late.
the concert-cum-conference was amazing though. hillsongs is enuff said and the pastor was hilarious and hot. like what i want for my gp teacher but... nvm. but yes, it was great and i really enjoyed myself. of course this is a very short paragraph inversely propotionate to how amazing it was but im too tired to be all fangirly and excited.
so today is sunday.
Escaped
{10:22 am}
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Thursday, July 23, 2009
for the record, term 3 has been the Best so far. i love my class, i lovelove my pw group and i lovelovelove everybody.
but just now for a moment, i missed you so much it hurt to breathe.
Escaped
{9:15 pm}
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
edit: as if i wasnt unlucky enough, i found my old pw journal after i bothered to do a new one. from scratch. AHHHHHHHHH.
im still extremely frustrated over the fact that im still sick.
ive not missed so many days of school before! (by so many i mean two, unless i burn up again today and am forced to take another day of leave)
GAH. I HAD A WHOLE WEEK NICELY PLANNED OUT DAMMIT
life is so evil. i miss school ): the break has been more than wonderful seeing how ive managed to catch up on everything except econs (which i cant be bothered but lecture test on friday maybe its time to start bothering) but hello enough is enough. i want to get my bum out of home soon.
and i am annoyed at silvercross. they charge too much! and why didnt the first doctor give me my antibiotics then huh. why do i have to visit them the second time to get my antibiotics! if ive gotten them at first who knows i might be well by now ):
more evidence life is unfair? WHY MUST IT BE RAINING ON THE DAY OF THE LONGEST SOLAR ECLIPSE OF THE CENTURY.
Escaped
{11:50 am}
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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
gah!
im so frustrated why am i still sick ))))): plus its so evil and tricky, like ill wake up and be all fine and clearheaded with temperatures of 35.something which is super low for me but once the clock strikes 3 ill be burning up like a hot cross bun and formless like a giant potato sack.
RAWR.
will take another day off tmr, sadly since im supposed to be at my pw interviews ): hopefully i recover soonsoon!
Escaped
{8:40 pm}
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Sunday, July 19, 2009
am sick today.
went to bed all fine and dandy and woke up this morning feeling like a drunk(en?) sailor the morning after. figuratively though cos ive not had a hangover before, but im guessing it ought to feel like this.
of course i pretty much gave my brain a hiatus through the day, opting to loll about in my parents' bed instead of getting up to... idk, finish my giant pile of work. not that i would have taken much in anws; the headache would have made sure of that. skipped out on the uni fair as well, which was probably a good choice considering bailu informed me it was sort of a failure.
by the time i woke up my fever was 38.9 then i panicked and took again to 38.3. still bad, so i called up my mommy to ask to go to the clinic. just in case, just in case, it was h1n1.
i have 3 theories about this: 1. i worked myself too hard too suddenly the last week (s) and thus have collasped from exhaustion. sounds awfully familiar, need to tell rohan to stop predicting bad things happening to his health because so far theyve ended up happening to me instead. bad. also, i think its time i look out for someone who can give me a slap in the head and drive me to rest when i have to, because it seems im not too good at regulating my own workaholicism myself.
2. its just time for one of my usual bouts of sickness. happens about 3 times a year, but i had my last one a week before cts, so this is awfully fast. maybe all that physical exertion ytd helped accelerate it. this is what happens when you dont exercise at all.
3. one of the people who opened their door to me was secretly sick/ down with h1n1 and spread it to me ))):
of course the last was most worrying, which was why i was driven to seeing a doctor. usually i just sleep it over cos its viral and i pay to have someone tell me to sleep?
luckily this time, however, my fears seem to be unconfirmed. she didnt even mention h1n1, only gave me a bunch of medicine to alleviate the symptoms. rawr.
and i just went to get my headache meds, but what kind of lousy thing is this i just get more pain. i will stop typing rubbish now.
Escaped
{6:21 pm}
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Saturday, July 18, 2009
i mentioned the dreaded hiatus ytd, but here i am again! experience tells me im bad at hiatuses, so i will disclaimer first. my hiatuses are almost always semi which means that if i post when i post they'll be single lined twitter like sentences. but im not going to disappear under a rock cos i dont live under a rock.
todays sentence is: I THINK DOING CIP WITH YOUR BF IS SWEET TTM :D:D:D
because i had a 10 hour long can collection today which was immensely tiring but fun. i shall go again next year anyone wants to join me? :D:D
also, im a bit confused about where i stand with some people now, but i dont have the time to deal with it yet, so i hope it doesnt fester and rot away cos that will just kill me.
Escaped
{7:03 pm}
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Friday, July 17, 2009
next week(s) will be busy, so even though i have a bout 5 million things to say, expect a short hiatus (: ill try my best to post when i can, but il prob be too tired and busy so.
today i went to clarke quay for dinner with my dad since we've not been out since he came back.
Escaped
{10:51 pm}
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Thursday, July 16, 2009
edit: lets put my self discipline to a test shall we, earlier sleeping times without touching bejeweled once? CHALLENGING TTM.
i am sooooo tired. just so tired.
and when im like this i tend to mess up. gah. the painful process of readjusting sleeping times can be so murderous.
Escaped
{5:30 pm}
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009
i was quite energetic a moment ago, then i sat down on my chair and become totally eggsaucetad.
tis the effects of sleeping late ytd and having a whole every-subj-including-fake-afternoon-pe day. but tmr i have morning pe which means i have yoga! ommmmmm. i wonder if we can bring our own yoga mats :D
i posted my mail before 5pm and didnt forget about it im so proud of myself. tis the combined effort of bailu, vince and junyi. yay :D
im feeling very randoms now as you can tells. there prob isnt any worth in reading this at all ahahaha.
after thinking about it i guess ill be skipping art. personal satisfaction comes wayyy before my piles and piles of homework eh. (MAJOR MUGGER ATTITUDE! peoples with life gasp in horror.) i dont even feel like doing them ))))): and since cca starts next week i still have batchproj to deal with?
i shall stop rambling now. i have tuitionzz laters o.o
and i keep making these same mistakes, over and over again.
Escaped
{4:58 pm}
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Monday, July 13, 2009
my room has a distinctive smell of turpentine now, remnants of yesterday.
im both giddly relieved and distraught. relieved over passing econs, surprisingly, since i was really kind of shaky over the whole topic on costs, and distraught, like smack my head down on the canteen table midway during recess kind of distraught, that i have to miss this weeks art lesson because of cip.
gahhhhhhh! i have this issue with leaving things unfinished, so it kills me to think about my messy and unsophiscated canvas propped up against the wall, waiting and waiting for two whole weeks. plus art is so addictive, in a it-has-nothing-to-do-with-all-the-turpentine-i-inhale kinda way. maybe ill squeeze out some time this wed?
and im slightly worried because the due date for my astar forms is wed, and i have yet to get mrs ngs signature, which means i can only post it tmr. is that too late?
(i roughly conclude from singpost that its not. phew?)
plus tmr is tuesday and the RED LETTER DATE where joou ends her no tuition streak. but i guess, A level is worth pulling all the stops for, if nothing else is. but gahhh, little disappointed.
Escaped
{3:54 pm}
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Saturday, July 11, 2009
eeyeer. i types so long and then not even a tag as a show of appreciation?! ):
anws, meme!
Google your name, and write down the first webpage link name that makes grammatical sense and is relevant or just pick the funniest one on the first page of results.
1. Google "(your name) needs": Joanne needs an intact dilation and evacuation abortion (ERM. OKAY. WHAT?!)
2. Google "(your name) looks like": Joanne looks like..., Gillian from Twins ? (teeheehee i googled gillian from twins she very pretty :D:D)
3. Google "[your name] likes": Joanne Likes to Communicate with Foreigners (ahahahha! ohayou! -cheem japanese reply- o.o D:)
4. Google "[your name] says": Joanne says read this if you are a small business owner, entrepreneur, independent professional or executives (i sound so pro :D)
5. Google "[your name] wants": Joanne wants to drink milk. (this is actually the second link! the first link was "Joanne wants murder Kombi destroyed" WHICH IS TOTALLY VICIOUS SOUNDING.)
6. Google "[your name] does": Joanne Does the Double (apparently someone named Joanne Mills won two gold medals in... some unknown sport)
7. Google "[your name] hates": HAHA I FOUND A WHOLE WEBSITE THEY ARE FUNNY. so heres all of them :D
Jo hates it when a kit she puts together for a lumbar drain just...disappears, five minutes before the drain is due to be put in.
Jo hates it when the day is so confused and chaotic that she forgets to hang an antibiotic until 1800, at which time the patient has been discharged for six hours.
Jo hates it when all the cafeteria has for lunch is pulled pork sandwiches and chicken adobo.
Jo hates failed procedures.
(haha joanne is apparently a head nurse. i love the second one so cute. just for kicks, here is a Loves from the same blog cos its so funny:
Jo loves it when she can peg a neurology resident from twenty feet away with a thrown ball of paper.)
8. Google "[your name] can": Joanne can break the chains of fate and destiny. (wow. epic :D)
9. Google "[your name] goes": joanne goes crazy and some guy joins her! (this the first one, the rest were all places. and despite how it sounds the video attached has nothing sexual in it whatsoever)
10. Google "[your name] is": Joanne of the MMA Girls volunteers to be choked unconscious by Jiu Jitsu guru and MMA coach Marc Laimon. Whatever you do, don't try this at home. (erm, ok! DDDD: and i found out theres a wiki article on my name ahahah)
11. Google "[your name] loves": Joanne Manaster Loves Everything about Science! (HAHAH WHAT IS THIS!. theres also one that goes "Joanne Loves Playboy 's Video Channel & Video Clips". lols!)
Escaped
{11:22 am}
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Friday, July 10, 2009
1. i wish my hair would grow faster. grow grow!
2. i wonder how many points i can come up with.
3. last friday, a few 511ers and i went down to rg again. it was a good day! we initially wanted to just pop by for half an hour and move on to our movie, but we spent close to two and half instead. heehee. we practically ran around saying hi to all our teachers, including people we never talked to before like mr chang :D:D but i love him he so cute. and when we left, we persuaded mr lau to ditch his ces student for a while and hang out with us for lunch :D so we all piled into his car, that makes 6 girls at the back, and headed down to far east for the favourite chicken rice. mr lau paid :D i should visit rg more often i miss all our teachers! and there are perks to be EX- students too, like knowing more awesome secrets. teeheeehee.
after that, we went to see transformers, which was like omg cool because of all the super amazing super hot machines/ robots and stuffums. although the plot was a little cheesy (there be transformers in heaven!) i didnt really go for the plot so its ok :D more like TRANSFORMERS and SHIA. so yup. i loved it. despite the half a star thing T.T
once transformers ended it was 6 plus, so i had to rush back to bukit timah to meet up with my mom and stace and her mom. it was nice seeing stace after so long! but my irritating habit of picking up accents started again so i was speaking some kinda strange canadian-ish thing within 5 secs. but i tried my best to tone it down, or else so poser T.T but yeah i guess it was just fun to you know, show off singapore hahaha. we went to jumbo for the usual fare, but it was awesomezzz. and then after that stace and her mom came to our house and stayed to 5 plus looking through all my art pieces, shanghai shopping tropheys, and er facebook photos.
twas an exhausting day.
4. on sunday, which was watermelon day, some pri 5 kid who has been like doing charcoal for like ever indirectly complimented my art. :D he made me very very secretly happy heeeheeeheee! plus i really liked my watermelon. i think i get why some people like charcoal so much. unlike pencil, which is just like one layer, charcoal is like layer upon layer upon layer upon layer and you can blend it so easily! i love it :D but im moving on to oil heeheehee SUNDAYS ARE THE BEST DAYS OF MY WEEK.
5. on tuesday, also sucky chem day, i got my scholarship an hour before i got my scores. so it was a little o.o because it was totally yay you your sci is quite cool! and then oh. here you go your sucky chem scores...
but yeah ive been looking through. the terms are... awesome, and unlike some people who didnt apply due to the attachment, i kinda like it. yeah sure its from like 23 nov to 23 dec which is sucky and everything, but the more i read up on the research institutes the more im super interested in them :D but i can only choose 3! i wanna choose 5! anws in the end i only get one ):
i shall discuss it with my daddy later :D
6. my daddy came back today! but his plane was delayed so... still on the way. but hes bringing my art supplies too :D:D all that wouldve cost me like 100- 200 bucks in artfriends, but only SGD30 in china. so its like O: sadly, paints and turpentine turn out to be flammable, so... idk i dont think he brought them ): so i have to spend more money anws. but yay yay daddy!
7. on wed i went down to adventist (cos i havent been down for so long T.T) by myself cos eugene and vincent cmi. it was a little weird, but i talked for an hour with mr kwan who speaks english :D:D and then sat in silence for 2 hours listening to aunties talk in canton cos mr kwan had better things to do like smoke. but erm. it was kinda. different.
after that i rushed home and began to bake. my sis helped me so it was a lot faster! but it still took me like 2 ish hours so i had to multitask, esp with all that ct reppy things and sch work to be cleared.
but. I LOVE MY NEW MUFFIN TIN. its smaller, but my muffins slide out. like slide out. without me even needing to butter it! and I ALSO LOVE WHEAT FLOUR. 'nuff said.
8. thursday! hohoho what a day. thurs was our pw grp trip down to och day.
we left sch for tampines mrt, then took 29 to changi. along the way, we talked, instead of studying like planned, on everything from love lifes to chuanhong (duh haha) to our dismal bio marks. it was kinda fun we were all so high, then tired, then high again haha. i really love my pw grp, cos even as chuanhong says, that we each belong to one of the cliques in our class (seriously hahaha our class is so well represented in our group!) we are still able to work quite well together as a group. so its awesome :D sure we do have weaknesses, but none of them have really affected us yet though we might have to be careful when push comes to shove. but still. i loveeee my group :D
but ok anws, we got to och, which is really really ulu and climbed up the staircase totally expecting to meet some angry security guard demanding to know what we're doing there. instead, we only encountered an SLA sign. we thought we'll look around for someone to talk to, so we went into the main courtyard. och was surprisingly run down though, with debris and broken glass and graffiti (one of which was momos birthday so he was quite spooked)everywhere. )): of course the thought that THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED wasnt far from our minds, and as chuanhong pointed out, there may be dubious characters hanging around, esp with all the gang signs sprayed on the walls. so it was creepy. and freaking. and when i saw the incense paper i just freaked out. with liza. of course not like run away screaming and crying kinda freak out, but well, i refused to enter the building. plus it looked unstable! and creepy! we did enter a little part though, but thats with the guys flanking the front and the back. the guys were so awesomezz and sweet in face of me and liza freaking out (:
so we hang around outside, but didnt see anyone (luckily!) or thing. momo did find a pile of supposed drugs on the floor though, which totally confirmed my fears and so i was like LETS LEAVE. it'll be so creepy if we run into messed up people what can we do! although the guys totally had some self sacrifical plan in mind but erm, not a good idea to be stupid and risk anything.
so we left after around 20 mins, kinda emotionally exhausted from all that excitement. This, would be one experience i prob wouldnt forget quickly D: but it was kinda exciting in a twisted way, plus it totally bonded our pw group somemore so that was awesome :D academic wise, i guess seeing the place made the proj more real, and really, its some place worth conserving.
9. today! after school 10 3Gians went to pizza hut for lunch. hahahah. ive not been to a class outing yet, but yeah it was awesomez because HEY WE 3G LEH. dong and xuande ordered this giant pizza that came with a free one of the same size. by the time they were done with that they could pretty much puke hahaha. biang and jonlee had 2 smaller regular ones, but still, finishing that much pizza is an impressive feat! go fb for photos cos i too tired and lazy to put here :D
10. tired! and done. i thought ill have more than 10 pts, but apparently not :D just nice 10 is a good number. till next time :D:D this a very very long post ahaha.
Escaped
{10:04 pm}
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Thursday, July 09, 2009
mm i apologise for the last post, it was a rant please ignore ^^ its been a good couple of days since (in both sense of the word) but busy ones so i havent really had time to post. this too, will be short, just so i can rmb what to blog about. last friday of course, on my trip back to rg, outing with 511ers to transformers and dinner with stace. tuesday, on receiving my astar sci scholarship, which i have yet to have time to properly look through. wed, on my 3hr long visit to adventist alone and baking. and today, on our pw grps trip down to old changi hospital and how very spooky it was.
ok yay. now i go.
Escaped
{8:03 pm}
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Tuesday, July 07, 2009
ok i get it. i got an E for chemistry. its terrible and horrendous. i apologise. now pleaseeee stop asking me how much ive gotten. im not proud of it, but everytime someone expresses astonishment (or politely refrains from it but i can sense it). its like i get stabbed in my -insert word here- chest. its not pretty.
so just let it go ok. move on. know you own -insert word here- grades and just. go.
i can deal with the grade. i just cant deal with the prejudice and all that misplaced expectations.
(forgive me. im not blaming anyone, but allow myself to rant and mourn. at least for a while. thank you for your kind understanding.)
Escaped
{10:34 pm}
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Sunday, July 05, 2009
IVE BEEN PROMOTED MY TEACHER SAYS I CAN START ON OIL ON MY NEXT LESSON :D:D:D
unfortunately, i dont think itll be next week, since i have to go down to MINDS for interact. unless i change my lesson to wed afternoon but then ill have to switch my weekly visits to adventist.
why does interact like to interfere with my lessons so much T.T
updates on visit to rg+outing with 511+ dinner with stace when i can be bothered have time.
edit: yay it seems i am able to go oil painting on wed after all :D yay h1n1!
Escaped
{6:45 pm}
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Thursday, July 02, 2009
today is a cold day D:
but IM DONE. and its a kind of delirious joy. maybe im losing it hahahha.
my mommy told me randomly while we were watching tv just now that if she had a son my daddy wanted to name him brian, 步然 meaning "step into nature". its a good name, i like it :D i think my daddy has a way with names. too bad it sounds like 不来 so i never did get one ): i wonder how it would be like to have a brother.
i only found out this trip back that my cousins on my fathers side are also named something-ran. after me. my dad does have a way with names (:
names are such funny things. i rmb they used to say that its the only thing that belong to you that others use all the time. sometimes i look at my name and wonder about it. what does it mean to be a joanne? who are joannes? what determines a joanne? i have joho to look at, but we're so different. we say to live up to the name, and sometimes people just look like their names, but what exactly is it that makes it so? the more i look at it the more i feel like i dont know what my name means. it feels foreign, sometimes. maybe thats why i like my name to be in small letters or shortened to jo. Joanne is so... imposing and formal. theres a hint of elegance to it, i feel.
ahh. too much thinking.
Escaped
{9:47 pm}
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Wednesday, July 01, 2009
i saw your sms and started laughing.
--
ill like to keep your star in my clear pencil case for a while longer, but the cts end tmr, so ill have to switch back. but ill find somewhere to put it i will. it makes me feel all warm inside (:
Escaped
{8:25 pm}
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mmmm. math today was ok.
sure i didnt know how to do the question on tomatoes (why tomatoes omg i love tomatoes couldnt they choose something more unlikeable like... bitter gourd!) but ah wells. it was a good comfortable pace. or maybe because i didnt know how to do that tomatoes ques.
but ah wells.
today when i was walking up the slope to my block i overheard a pair of korean siblings conversing.
boy: say yes! sister: hmm? boy: say yes! sister: why. boy: just say yes! sister: no.
haha. i rmb my sister used to do that to me. after a while you learn never to say yes to anything cos most likely your words will be used against you. xD
