edit: i was just bloghopping and i stumbled across this completely random but really captivating blog. and the thing that made it so attractive, at least to me, was that it was able to 1. express very clearly the emotions of the author in a very reader-friendly and personal way and 2. talk about a wide range of issues (including movie reviews, world events and random other things). i think i should really aim to upgrade the quality of my posts, nowadays they are soooo mundane. and narrow-scoped. jo needs to reconnect to the world and stop complaining about herself. plus this helps me acheive more gp-ness. NEW BLOG GOAL YAY.
meh i dont feel like updating cos everyone else dont seem to be updating and it feels like the world has gone.
on a holiday.
but i have no life and have no holiday so i will blog.
ea was quite fun. i kind of like how they group ogs together, we really do get to meet different people. plus the people are always fun to interact with since we're all ogls and thus, inherently open and fun and interactive :D
im really quite upset about not having the time to go down for storyline rehearsals. i need to have more time to work on my orientation things! mainly my handful of dance sequences. am not a good dancer, must practice to make sure i dont completely embarress myself on stage.
but if i can pull things off orientation really seems to be going to be a blast :D next years batch are going to have an awesome time! lucky lucky jnrs.
between astar, trying to study and clear all the i-did-not-pay-attn-at-all-during-this-topic-cos-it-was-pre-promos stuffums and learning orientation dances and prepping (somewhat) for bio o prac on wed, I HAVE NO LIFE AND AM VERY SAD ABOUT IT.
so i cannot wait till standchart next sunday, unifem sale the sunday after and boonlay countdown on the 31st.
maybe i will join (part of) 3G for dinner before standchart after all.
aiyah see how lah. the sheer amount of nonsense i have to do is frustrating. what happened to HOLIDAYZZZ.
Escaped
{11:41 pm}
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Friday, November 27, 2009
rargh i am so sianz
i miss doing stupid things with my classclassclass.
tmr there is ea.
I WANT TO PAINT. (i miss my paintings. i hope they are having fun in my dads office, but i need to make more soonsoonsoon.)
Escaped
{5:17 pm}
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Wednesday, November 25, 2009
im blogging from imcb O:
the nitrocellulose gel is being washed, so i have a small 10 min break (i think its over, but i cant find my mentor so i shall sit for a while)
im unbelievably tired. ok mostly cos i havent fully woken up yet. i reallllyyyy didnt want to wake up today heh. lab work is really tiring ok! i stand from 8.30 to 5.30 and have a one hour lunch break, but thats about it. D:
but its is fun lah, i mean, im the kind who enjoys it. not as an occupation nono, but occasionally doing small projects like this is very.. enjoyable (: a few of the other people in the attachment aint finding it as exciting haha xD im sorry, i like mundaneness. its therapeutic.
more on the h3 saga, i DONT WANT AN AXE ON MY A LEVEL CERT AND IM VERY FRUSTRATED AS TO WHY THEY EVEN GIVE IT OUT. so im seriously considering going h3-less (molecular bio has rejected me. i dont really understand why, to risk sounding ego. i also dont understand why chem rejected bailu. we are both a grade students! MEH. but its ok i wouldnt take molecular bio either)
daddy says i should just focus on studying my h2 properly and not be stupid and try to stretch myself too thin.
ok more on this later. membrane is ready.
now is later. im done with the pre-blocking, which i did almost mentor-less (this is exciting! im only on my 4th day!) pre-blocking essentially is putting your nitrocellulose in a bag full of 5% anlene milk and letting it rotate for an hour. which means i get an hour break! yay!
i shall go grab a bite after this post. but anws, i guess im just being kiasu and worrying what if everyone else that applies to med/law have h3s too! then ill just look less competitive. ragh i hate competition in education. there is something WRONG with that philosophy. everyone should be able to get the education they deserve!
ok i am done complaining. will go eat now! omnomnom. i hope bailu is enjoying her attachment too, but she has the 2 hour killer safety talk to attend today. muahahaha.
Escaped
{10:08 am}
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Monday, November 23, 2009
edit: joou: within sight says: >< i realise i blog like a bimbo D:
like srslyz bbz.
edit2: because geoff said my song is too emo (although it is really very nice) Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti is up. tis a dancey happy song, so WAIT PATIENTLY FOR IT TO LOAD, then DANCE.
I AM EXHAUSTED.
and i feel like talking to theo. randomly. its a feeling.
Escaped
{9:31 pm}
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Saturday, November 21, 2009
edit: my jnrs are seriously gorgeous at their FAM this year. next years boys are a lucky bunch!
holy smokes i am tired.
ive forgotten how fun station games can be. thankfully, this years stagames comm reminded me (and im sure a lot of other people) how awesome they can get when planned properly and played with awesome people!
yay :D
ytd was the official start to my astar attachment. i got plopped into uncle hongs lab! which was a really cool coincidence. ive forgotten how a real lab is like after these few years, so its nice to be back and play the wideeyed disoriented newbie intern in the hightech dangerous biolab. i dont have the same kind of liberty i had in uncle lus lab, but i knew then i was very lucky to enjoy that much freedom. this time is going to be less exploratory and more instructions following, but i see myself getting the opportunity to do some cool science :D
Escaped
{10:31 pm}
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Friday, November 20, 2009
myoclonic jerk!
which is what happens when you involuntarily twitch at night. happens when youre falling asleep and your body thinks you are dying and sends a pulse to shock your body and increase you breathing rate.
says house.
happens to me a lot.
Escaped
{10:01 pm}
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
i have not been online since monday O:
how amazing. i feel like an internet recluse! my mommy says its possible to live without the internet and i survived! (a japanese game show!)
speaking of mommy she should be coming home soon. for the past two whole weeks i have been mommy and daddyless and thus home alone with my sis. who can drive me insane but i still love her anws.
being home alone SUCKS. because you have to do all the chores YOURSELF. all that mopping, vaccuming, wiping, washing, ironing, scrubbing, cooking, cutting, shopping (groceries) IS DAMN ANNOYING. and time consuming! and TIRING. seriously. i come home super tired and cook and clean and dont feel like studying anymore because my brain and body just hangs there.
but it ends today. and i get to see mommy again. i am happy :D
another piece of news, i got past bio o theory! thats right. 15 guys, 3 girls, i know how the 3O girls feel like now.
without making it sound like im super ego or wtvs it is quite o.o because i honestly did not read the last 10 chaps at all and my brain froze a bit during the test so. there is a possibility i was a bit lucky (esp since it was mcq!). but still, cannot completely discount this acheivement or else damn ass. i am happy i got through even though today i spent 5 hours in the bio lab staring at bacteria and flowers and fruit and will have to hope and pray my astar prof lets me off on prac day.
but more than anything this shows i am capable for more and thus should try to expand my potential. thus, h3 math, YOU ARE GOING DOWN. VERA, YOU SHOULD ENCOURAGE ME NOT DISCOURAGE ME. also, am grateful for the chance cos i know there are a lot of people there who would like to take my place (for all its trouble) so yes. love.
tmr i have imcb, which technically means today was the last day of school! but i will no longer think that way because now i feel all EMPOWERED and like omg yes must work hard! so next week i will go to school at every available free time slot.
GO TEAM. (jo. and all her beloved darling friends. i pass my empowerment to yall :D)
before i go, we have wonderful sources for our bio o wses:
WIN.
Escaped
{8:55 pm}
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Monday, November 16, 2009
i opened my fb today and saw this.
O: so pretty right. all thanks to lyn tagging all my photos for me xD
Escaped
{3:42 pm}
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Sunday, November 15, 2009
all this h3 business is seriously driving me insane.
i got h3 math.
yeah. ikr! i mean, after a lifetime of me vs. math battles that even my dad could not resolve now i have to be so troubled over the idea of actually volunteering myself for additional, advanced math?!
argh.
couple of things i can do right now:
1. appeal for pharm chem. which was my first choice, but the chances of me getting it was slim to begin with. but do i really want to? its org chem, which means a lot of memorising and stuff (think uber long IUPAC names) and do i really want to sign myself up for that? honestly? i mean, chem is probably going to be useful in uni (esp if i go for the med field) but what are the odds of me killing myself?
2. stick with math. which is insane in its own right. ive never loved math, ive never been particularly good at math, and last year i spent an insane time trying to achieve my 3.6. and next years math is going to be a lot tougher, so can i really handle more math? the plus point is theres only one paper, and its going to be straightforward. but what if i fail? i alr have a unclassified in my sec 4 chem ra grade, gettting one on my A level grade will be stupid. of course i can always drop out, so thats a bit of a safety net.
in a long term view, math is going to be the most useful of all subjects (i really agree with mrs ng on this one) whether medical or science or business. so it boils down to the physics or bio debate again - take it cos you'll need it, or take it cos you love it. im sure billions of people will drive the "only take what you really really want to" argument, which is wonderful and everything, cept now im not really adverse to the idea of more math. im just worried i wouldnt make it.
3. sit tight and hope i get into molecular bio. but do i really want to take more bio? i love bio and everything and i think the syllabus for molecular bio is really quite interesting. but passively waiting for the results to come out is risky - what if i dont get it and miss my chance to appeal for pharm chem? plus, of all the subjs, bio has to be the most limited. no offence to bio teachers, but esp if im not going into the science field.
4. not take a h3 at all. which is really i think the best option for me, but idk i just dont want to regret giving up the opportunity because i know i can handle a h3, its just none of them are jumping out and saying TAKE ME at this point in time. of course if i take math and drop it ill still be h3-less, so theres no loss in giving it a shot right?
argh. this is all very frustrating.
Escaped
{11:33 am}
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Friday, November 13, 2009
i had a whole post about life and its regrets planned out, but that waits, because tonights post is about time.
tonight, everything but the brain was a play about time.
in a lot of ways, what was happening in the play was a reflection of what was happening at the play. there were people tonight that i used to know, who used to be Very significant in various points of my life, that i used to and sometimes still, say i love you and miss you too. but as time passed and we came to tonight, we both began to step away, lose touch, move on.
until tonight, when we became strangers who say hello.
(of course there were also a lot of people there tonight who are still very much significant to me, so please dont think im talking about yall)
i remember last year, when i was busying around with something that is no longer significant, zaki's msn video popped up, and he said something to the extent of please dont ever lose touch with me, whatever happens next year.
and when i said to annie that day last year, that ill never want to ever not be her friend.
but really, how does one do that? how do you stop the waters of time from seeping through the cracks of your fingers and into a relationship, eventually diluting it into something that is no longer... anything?
how?
its not like i wanted it to. its not like i no longer want to be your friend. its just, its just... its a mutual thing, as you no longer give me a part of your life to be in, i choose not to be a part of your life. these are mutally dependent events - as long as one occurs the result is the same whether or not the other does. we all know what i mean, we all have been there. everyone who have lost a friend to time.
no one ever wants to, and when i say i love and miss you i really do. i love you for the days you were part of my life, and i, yours. i miss those days. but time pushes us, forces us to leave those days behind, fossilised in our memories.
and as much as we would like to stop time, it speeds forward.
they say the teen years are those with the biggest changes. the self-discovery times. in 5 days my first jc yer ends, and in another 2 odd months i turn 18. 18. that is nearly the end of the teen years, but this year, this excruciatingly long, yet blink-of-an-eye fast year, have been nothing short of self-discovery and changes. last year this time, i walked out of rgs thinking i was done with those years of self-discovery. i walked out thinking i knew who i was. i walked out confident of where i was going, of what i could be.
but now, now i realise i didnt really walk out of anything. rather, i was pretty much yanked out like a baby mandrake, stuffed into a new pot, covered with dirt, and expected to find my own way around.
when youre in the GEP for 6 years, people around you tend to remain relatively constant. you know who you are closer to, who shes closer to, who they are closer to. in 6 years of time you build up your reputation, your image. everyone knows everyone. but suddenly, suddenly this year i was pulled out of the system and stuffed into this new.. timezone. and so were everyone else. pushed and shoved around by our duties, our schedules, our class timetables, subconciously our relationships with each other lost the competition against time. and with the constraints of this new life, you are made to reconstruct your social circle.
i lost my axis. in a lot of ways i am the shadow of the person that i was last year this time. i no longer know what i mean to a lot of people. i dont know where i am going, i forgot my game plan. that many things accumulated in one short year can blow a person to bits, and can make this post very very very emo.
but i am running out of time. and of brainpower. and this is not an emo post.
but mostly, just running out of time. time doesnt wait for people to mull about the past. time doesnt stop so you can figure out your footing. no, time speeds when you wish it would stop, time crawls, time spins you around like a tornado and throws away all your plans. and there is nothing you can do about but deal. gradually, you pick yourself up again, you dust off the damage and you learn to work with the new life.
so during this post promos time, i took time away from everything to realign. to rediscover my passion, to rebuild my game plan, to reconnect with old friends. im still working on it, but things are coming together, so hopefully, hopefully soon ill find and make a life ill be comfortable to live in.
its all a matter of time.
Escaped
{11:11 pm}
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
edit: Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy is up! i found it whilst i was clearing My Received Files folder (hoho. a substantial number of songs there?) but i cant rmb who sent it to me! whoever you are it is a very nice song (:
last night i went to bed at 11 and slept at 1ish, thinking about how i really need to fall asleep soon, how big i want my cookies and cream cheescakes to be, whether or not minioreo sized cheesecakes will be big enough to actually taste something, how i really need to fall asleep soon, planning the dinner menu for the whole week, what ice skating with the class with be like and HOW I REALLY NEED TO FALL ASLEEP SOON.
needless to say i am very tired now. once the washing machine is done i will go to nap.
but.
op is done?
wait. pw is done? really?
does this mean i can delete all the billions of files of pw i have in my comp now?
really?
okay i guess i will just keep the wr and the video. but everything else has to go.
Escaped
{2:28 pm}
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
i watched last samurai on channel 5 last night!
i reallllyyyy love last samurai. its like one of my fav shows! not because tom cruise is in it (eww.) but because i really like the samurai/geisha culture. once again, omg romantic era much!
i wish i had my own samurai ): they are all so cool and manly, even the itty bitty one! (aoi minato. he made me cry and cry.) but i think if i had my own samurai then ill be expected to be a good samurai wife and that is Hard.
isnt he adorable! idk haha i just like the ancient japanese.
today was bio o! the rj contingent (there were that many of us) trooped over to ntu (which is super ulu. but pretty) for the test, which lasted 4 hours (4 papers, 45min each). like srsly. i didnt even know there were going to be 4 papers until nad enlightened me on the bus. it was kind of funny really, how 300 of us were there to war against each other in a fight that would most probably prove to be fruitless. i mean, theres going to be like what 3 people selected? and it was cold and i was sleepy so i think towards the end i just sort of anyhowed. but the experience was interesting lah. and forced me to actually read my campbell which i otherwise would not have (trust me i wouldnt haha)
oo this post has many brackets. tmr i have op and i am supposed to be doing my i and r now but rawr. am tired ):
cannot wait for pw to be overoverover but thinking of op coming up Soon is making me a bit nervous.
Escaped
{10:36 pm}
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Monday, November 09, 2009
was up late last night watching singin' in the rain.
(its pouring outside now. how apt.)
would have gone to bed earlier, but there was something captivating about the show. plus its my dads fav song to sing when we do get caught in the rain xD
theres something about classics that just make them so much more... romantic. maybe its the atmosphere of the time period they were made in.
the plot is simple enough: rich famous movie star meets young talented actress wannabe. rich famous movie stars career is jeopardised and young talented actress wannabe waltzes in to save the day with her talent. they fall in love along the way.
in any current hollywood blockbuster this would have been "just another movie", even if its pumped full with big names. think zac efron as don lockwood and vanessa hudgens/miley cyrus/or, god forbid, lindsay lohan as kathy shelden. -shudders- not a movie i would be paid to watch. perhaps thats what it is: the manly gentleman that plays the lead male and the fierce, strong-willed actress that plays the female lead.
or maybe its the skill and art involved in the movie. isnt it sad that all you need to be famous nowadays is be pretty and skinny? back then it was the tapping, the singing, the dancing that made a good actor. ive always really liked movies where people spontaneously start to dance the same dance when a single song plays xD its really cool! if only there are places like that now. back then everyone knew the same dances (think foxtrots and waltzes)
they could remake the film, but they can never replicate the beauty of a classic.
i really liked Good Morning as well haha. its so cute! and was stuck in my head for a while this morning. also love the tap dancing.
okay more awesome tapdancing.
yeah moses supposes is a a really random part of the show. but omg it makes me wish i could tap dance too xD
Escaped
{3:38 pm}
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Saturday, November 07, 2009
i feel very sad no one is UPDATING.
so i will make up for it by updating, such that other people like me who are upset at the recent lack of updates on our favourite blog haunts can feel a little happier reading my updates :D
heehee.
anws, ive been studying bio o like MAD but i still think i cmi for the deadline, ie 10 nov, next tuesday. im only at chap 36, which makes another 20 to go and if i study till like 37/8 tonight its still... 10ish chaps to run through for the next two days.
and tmr i have pw, plus tech run on mon.
rawrrrr.
oh one hand, it is kinda quite interesting to read campbell. (heehee the emergence of teh MUGGERZJOZ) i mean, you learn interesting things like birds not have a urinary bladder which explains why they pee/shit all the time! how fascinating is that! and ive finally found out how chicken eggs are fertilized. i think biang and i went through this debate once haha.
its saddening how bio is so... useless. i really enjoy it ):
): i have run out of interesting things to say. but i shall end with a really cute picture. i think the ones we took in the shelter whilst it rained on our class ecp biking outing are serious cute business. xD
(p.s. justin foo informed me today that im on the openhouse picture things. and it was an UNGLAM cheering one. i face this piece of news with much trepidation, but luckily im merely a sideliner. keshia, on the other hand, is the focus or so i heard. (Y))
Escaped
{10:26 pm}
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<3
storylined the whole of today. tmrs op. and the day after as well. ah so busy ):
Escaped
{7:25 pm}
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Thursday, November 05, 2009
teh bloggins hav been bit slows these few days realises i. this is sign that i have been coming home very tired and late everyday hmm.
am bleh tired omg. today was ecp class outing yay cycling in the rain i like! lots of beautiful photos up on fb, lazy to post here haha.
but uhrm. think it was a good experience lah. cos as typical of cycling groups eventually everyone breaks up into groups and if you break up into a group you stick tgt (esp in the rain) so people who dont usually spend quality time tgt can! :D
i make so much sense right. sry lor brain is deaded alr.
oh yes, eugenes class have received imba gp hw for the hols so im planning to follow their regime. one of which is 10 journal entries (eg. summaries and commentaries on books, tv shows and audio) so there shall be at least 10 critically thought out entries here during the hols.
i think writing things that require thinking and reflecting is impt and i feel sad i dont do that anymore.
tmr i am making chicken soup!
and two of the paintings (the field one and the flower one) have now travelled to china and i will never see them again ): i feel sad when my productions leave me because i never get to see them again and i always feel like i havent seen them enough to figure out how i made them in the first place and omg what if i can never do such a nice thing again! esp the purple flowers one i really liked that. but im sure my dad likes it too so the idea of it sitting in his office is really nice xD
i also realise my sentences are becoming really long like veras. this is Bad Influence O:
and uhrm. okay too tired to rmb what else to blog about.
Escaped
{11:10 pm}
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Tuesday, November 03, 2009
omnomnom. the tea eggs are being boiled nowz, thanks to bea's "JO I WANT TEA EGGS I CANNOT WAIT TILL JAN ALRRRRR."
which made me super hungry and want tea eggs.
meh ive been superbly hungry lately. like i strongly suspect there is Something Wrong with me because HOW CAN I BE EATING SOOOO MUCH! like all sorts of rubbish! everything! omg i am so greedy ):
just when i was all like "Ok, my life needs order so I will start being orderly and moderately and healthy and hardworking andandand..."
epic failz. (like bailus diet hehehe)
if things work out there will be tea eggs in school on thurs.
Escaped
{5:47 pm}
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Sunday, November 01, 2009
this ogl grouping business is annoying ttm, esp when i have more impt things to think about, like which h3s to offer.
rawr.
i am very tempted to give up and just tell them to group anyway they like, but for veras sake i will try to find a male MR councillor. which, give that there are only 2 (excluding ryan ware whom rohan alr has monopoly power over), makes a scarce resource.
